ive never felt as disappointed and despondent as this.
ive never felt like such a letdown.
ive never felt this controlled.
ive never felt with such a disbelief.
ive never felt this demoralised.
ive never felt this fustrated.
ive never felt like the road down is bleak.
ive not teared for almost a century.

and just by a single incident, a single discontinuation, a single conversation, a single confrontation, a single visit, an argument, a white lie, a breakaway from training, ends it all. these "never felt"s just came crashing like an open wave into my open wounds.

yes, it was the ivp race today. at gombak stadium, eugene smsed us reminding us to be in the school's north canteen by 11.30am when i remembered i couldnt even participate.
it was way disappointing how things turned out. my first ever race, and though i was not the actual runner, i was still honoured with being a reserve. and i was given the greater honor of being part of the relay. but all hopes went down after im not allowed to be on track by the nutritionist and by mum.

perhaps i brought it upon myself.
but all i needed was some assurance, but my own kin doesnt even believe a single word i say i guess. im still filled with doubt in the end.

i was affected the whole day at work thinking bout not being able to be there on the track racing against time, and cheering my track mates on.

i may not be the fastest runner.
but i am a determined runner.

i may be lying through my teeth,
but it was a white lie, and i didnt want to cause any worries nor any fears.

i may be working way too hard,
but im living it well.

i may be weak and away from my dearest kin,
but im healthy and i do care.

will you still believe me now?

went to ARTSingapore08 today with weebee! yeah she has got free tickets from osage so there we were at suntec, trying to intepret and appreciate the beautiful art pieces collected and displayed from art galleries all over the world.

a very colourful perspective art installation from india:
and i was kinda intrigued by this!

and whoops, look at this the portrait way! would make a really good wallpaper eh.
and cool engraving and construction of flowers and plants made of metal.
OHHHH and finally, guess what weebee did? yeap she too, chopped off her hair! literally. and there it went, her bunch of hair all neatly, slowly , snip by snip, cut off by a charming hairdresser at school of kimage which we went at funan's. there are student services avaliable there, so by cutting your hair there, its a risk but yet you are actually helping the kimage students there put their skills put into good use and well, some form of practice.

and there you go! presenting weebee's newest hairdo: its styled now and even if its messy, it actually looks pretty good on her! haha. so wb, fret not:D
spent the morning in school, lessons were only up till 11 and they were totally ehh boring, watching videos on orientalism? ooh and for this particular module, there will be site visits to museums and even the spore biennale! oh goody goody:] and i finally saw my lovely classmates today after the long hols! were so glad to see em all lookin' good as ever.

another day in school tmr. 0900, what a bother.

school is officially starting tomorrow, or to be exact, in bout' 11 hours till lessons start.
bammm, to think im still soakin' in the holiday atmosphere when its ending so soon.
it seemed just like yesterday when we bade our furniture design competition goodbye and enjoy our coming hols and now its hello again to the reopen of school.

im just so mentally unprepared.
boo, i will miss work too. kinda like the last day of working long hours today as well. next time, its just gonna be either a short period of time during weekdays or the weekends.
anyway, made a pact with mimi to wear the accessories we bought together on a shopping trip we embarked a few weeks ago after getting our pay and yeap, her first pay at spinelli's ! whee:D

am happy to buy stuff actually, after being deprived of shopping for such a long time!
especially now when i have the money wuahaha.
and yeap , here is the pretty chain necklace i got: and its a cello/violin, not a guitar! everyone seemed to assume it as a guitar so yeah. love copper gold chains, they are just so antique.

and i made a babycino at work today! woohoo:] so yeap presenting a miniature of a cappucino without the espresso shot. but sadly, i realised from ann that we have to charge customers for this pathetic little cuppa of foam milk with a sprinkle of cocoa powder.

and anyway, yeah, spinelli made headlines in yesterday's papers but fret now, we are conserving water now by breaking away from using the dipper well system to washing the stirring spoons and thermometers after EVERY SINGLE USE. so in one way, im proud to be saving water but in another, ive to get used to the way things now are handled.

damn it, im so full of salt now.
ive just consumed like a mega load of sodium and MSG that is so darn addictive.
junk food thats loaded with MSG can really make you indulge in more yet keep you thirsting for more water.

argh, im MSG-sodium overloaded right now.
trust me to be still having that stubborn cough!

oh and p/s: thanks gerald for that hair straightener! i owe you loads dude:]

oh bloody bloody goody, like finally.
so yay me, a toast to me for i purchased my long awaited ipod nano chromatic today after work.
it took lots of hesistation before, and in the process of saving up as well.
but well, before this series came out, i was still hesistating to get the ipod classic.
348 for 80GB sounds so alluring but perhaps it was a little too big luh. and my friend was telling me bout a new series coming out soon with a wide variety of colours and thus, i waited.

and tadah! ipod chromatic came out fully fledged.
248 for 8GB, totally more than enough storage space for my pretty empty itunes library.
haha but still, im one super duper ubber happy kid getting her gadget toy:]

oh and i got it purple. yeap you definitely heard me right, purple and NOT green.
the green is just not appealing enough so yeah purple, dully metallic, perfect.
i just need matching headphones now.

i miss training, i really do.
and i feel darn bad bout troubling wanwen to help me do the reasoning with the seniors and coach who asked about me.
but at least, i know that ive got time to recuperate and get back to do some running after im fit to do so entirely.

4 more days to the dread of school's opening!

we are darn foxy fanatics.

met up with wb and cranky at liang court in de' afternoon for some jap browsing of groceries at meidi-ya. gee, i really love that place.
and then headed on to bugis's FOX for some shopping:D
with that much of anticipation, we browsed and tried on the variety of long sleeved and hoodies blah blah blah much more. yeah, we are die-hard fans of FOX.
so we finally got our clothes! and 3 foxy stamps! one more to go for a voucher eh hah.
gotta get more clothes before school starts next week.

and so, yeap i think im more or less done with the stockups of jackets and really thick clothings, in preparation for the freezing studios of block R.

cant wait for another spree with ck and wb!
for the remaining days of holidays, its just gonna be work , checkups and stuff that i really want to do before i head back to school .
and darn, our timetable is out but i cant really see the joy nor disappointment in it luh.
its just another ordinary weekly timetable.